Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
