I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize