True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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