Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
