So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
