they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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