Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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