I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
