How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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