He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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