first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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