Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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