It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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