At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
