her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
