i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
