she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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