bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
