I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i came on her dog
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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