So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
