why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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