He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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