You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
