I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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