True but thats because hes a fetus.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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