Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
