i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
