Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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