and you said cock pushups were impossible
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
