I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He literally asked permission to hit on me
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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