I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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