Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
