Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
