You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
