wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
