i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
