Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize