Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
