We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
