My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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