pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
