I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
