I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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