So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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