The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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