C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
