you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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