We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
