i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
