he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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