I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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