It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
