I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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