Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
