Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
