I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
