Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
