If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
