can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
