Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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