names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
