Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
