In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So vagazzling was a success
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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