Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
