my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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