Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
